Sunday, May 24, 2015

Take care of your Afterlife

Let’s take a practical look at the afterlife. We have seen many people die in our world and based on that we are able to draw a conclusion: whenever someone died, the world continued to exist without them. It is therefore safe to say that the same will be true for you: when you die, the world will continue to exist without you.

In terms of the possibility of an Afterlife, you have actually not had any evidence that an afterlife would await you after death. But you have had plenty of proof that life on earth continues whenever someone died. Hence the real afterlife should be defined as follows: “the Afterlife is that which comes After my Life.” And based on the evidence you have you can conclude that “that which continues after your life” is simply “life on earth”. Therefore your Afterlife is the world you leave behind for others and this brings an immense responsibility.

In most countries the individual can decide for himself if and how he takes responsibility for his death. With taking responsibility for one’s death I mean: making the necessary arrangements such as through a testament, but also discussing your death with those in your world and what needs to happen after your death.  It means that you ask yourself the question: what needs to be in place so that when I die, there is a graceful transition for those I leave behind.

The reason why the above mentioned freedom of choice (will I take responsibility for my death or not?) exists is very simple. Technically speaking the law cannot force you to make or not make certain death arrangements (whereas the law can for instance force parents to meet certain parental obligations towards their children) because once you are dead no-one can take legal action against you anyways. So, it is clear that this freedom of choice was only created as a cover up for the inability of the system to deal with this point otherwise. This way it sounds like an honorable thing and as if the system ‘respects’ your decisions.

The solution that was found to this problem is that if the person does not take responsibility for their death, their relatives can be held accountable and can in fact be forced to deal with whatever the deceased person was unwilling to deal with. So, in that sense the responsibility of the deceased is simply transferred. Thus it is never a real freedom, because others will have to pay for the negligence of the departed one.

From my perspective the freedom to deal with your death or not – should not exist, because as I have explained you are merely transferring your responsibility, and that is unacceptable. This topic should in fact be part of your education, to such an extent that you are completely comfortable with looking at the consequences of your death practically and what you need to do to ensure that your death does not harm others. It’s interesting – death is the one certainty in everyone’s life – yet it is the one point we don’t want to deal with. How can we ever grow up and be responsible when we exist in denial towards the greatest certainty in this reality? Does that not sound delusional?

Let’s prepare the way for a world in which individuals are able to look death in the eye and through that actually become stronger human beings with greater empathy and integrity.

Thank you for spreading this blog.

For those who want to change the world and understand that changing the world starts with changing ourselves, visit:

Thursday, May 14, 2015

Day 1 - A Narcissist's Journey to Life

Today the point of Narcissim opened up and I will use this blog to walk this design.

The first trait of Narcissism that I found in a comprehensive list, is the following:

1.      1.  “An insatiable appetite for the attention of other people.”

How have I been living this point?

I can see that since my childhood years this point already came very much to the forefront. I would say that this huge need for attention started when I was 6-7 years old.

At that point I was relatively new in a new school and the people in my class were from what I remember calm and normal kids. One of them however (W), was more like a ‘Daredevil’ who would have a strong reputation in the class as being someone who dares a lot, and who is not afraid of the teachers. I basically thought that he was much tougher than me, that he had more courage, and more self-confidence and self-value. He also stood more and more like a leader in the group – where he was kind of seen and accepted as ‘the boss’.

So, what I saw as I started writing about this point, is that I had experienced myself as inferior to this person. I was in a relationship of tension with him because I wanted to be like him yet at the same time I experienced him as a threat. So, what I did was instead of investigating how I could create the qualities in myself that I admired so much in W, I started to look for ways in which I could draw the attention of the people in my class. So what I did is I saw that W was getting the attention and so I started to compete with him to also get my share of attention. This getting of attention I would do through putting my skills in the limelight and using whatever means I saw were effective at getting attention. These tactics were: using my drawing skills to get attention, then trying to be ‘badass’ like W, and then one tactic I found particularly effective was to be funny to others.  

This led to me and W becoming good friends – because I was able to position myself as a ‘heavyweight’. Yet even within my relationship with W I would experience myself as less than him and actually still see him as a leader.

(Note to myself: Another context in which I developed a strong point of attention seeking was at home through my drawings. Whenever I made a drawing and would show it to my parents – their feedback would establish a point of pride within me where I would feel worthy.)

So, the question within this all is: what was my fear about when I felt I needed to compete with W? I feared to be ‘less’ than him and I was not accepting myself – thus I needed the recognition from the group for which I had to compete and there was this belief that I had to present myself as ‘more’ than what I really was.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have seen myself as a lesser kid in comparison to W – where I was in fear that if I were to allow someone else to run the show I would forever be an unnoticed kid – someone ordinary…

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I must be someone extra-ordinary.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have interpreted the situation in the class as me not being good enough and thus I tried to change myself because I could not stand to be treated as inferior by someone else – I wanted to be respected.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not have considered respecting myself – where I develop a relationship of self-trust with myself and live in a way that is in my benefit and in the benefit of others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to dislike myself based on the feedback I would get from others – such as my parents or teachers.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to value myself based on the feedback I would receive from others, be it my parents or teachers.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have given my power away though believing that value had to be given to me and that I intrinsically had no value.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have believed the judgments that adults made about me, which I bought into because I also wanted their positive judgments which made me feel like ‘more’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have built my self-worth exclusively in relation to the feedback I would receive from others in my world – and so when I would not get attention – I would start feeling worthless and depressed.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have bought into depression when I went to the drawing school and every time I would ‘not feel like it anymore’ and just sit around saying I had enough/ I was tired of it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have believed this experience of having enough and being tired, which was purely a negative energy which I allowed to possess me – because I was not getting special attention and because the things we were doing at the drawing school were not necessarily things ‘I was good at’ and so I did not feel like pushing myself to simply enjoy myself with the other kids, but instead I decided to act superior by saying ‘I am tired of it’.

In my next post I will go over my self-forgivenes again and go more specific.

Monday, August 19, 2013

When I learned that Bernard Poolman died...

When I read that Bernard had died – I was for a moment in a state of shock, experiencing a very daunting fear of not being in control. Then, as the message sunk in,  I looked at the implications of this event for me and for the group, and within this I realized that, as such, it did not change anything, except that it was now really up to us - as if it had ever been any different.

In a way I was prepared for this, because Bernard had told me that one day he will no longer be here, “because he is too much.” (as in “too intense”) When he told me this 4 years ago in front of the fire place, I cried.

Yet, what probably made me more prepared than this was the fact that I could see within myself that I am ready to stand and that for this I don’t “need Bernard”.

I have all the tools to walk this process, I know that the decisions that I had already made in the past years still stand and that I must keep walking my point. “You must continue, even after I am gone.”

Interestingly, I am continuing – not “because of Bernard” – but because I see that there is really no other choice. It is what must be done.

And so I commit myself to walk this process together with the people of the group of Desteni until my last breath.

Bernard’s death showed us that we are still accepting way too many limitations and justifications, as to why we cannot be who we would like to be and why we cannot be more effective, more directive, more self-disciplined, start walking points in more detail.

Bernard walked his process ‘alone’ and went all the way.

This is now our task.

Let’s stand and walk together, and not accept anything less from ourselves than what is best for all Life.


Saturday, March 9, 2013

Looper 2012 - Closing the Loop of Existence

I recently saw the movie Looper, released in 2012, with Joseph Gordon-Levit and Bruce willis. See a brief descritopn here of the plot if you haven't seen it.

In the end of this movie, there is a realization by the main character (Gordon-Levit) that the future is programmed and he then makes a decision “to end this loop”. His solution however is one of self-destruction, where he decides to take himself out of the picture completely.

There are a few considerations to this.

If we look at the point in common sense – we see that yes he did stop a part of the consequence of what he saw would happen in the future. But he did not see that fundamentally this will not really have an impact on the future. It will not change the future of humanity – which we see is already being depicted in the movie as becoming more and more unequal and with more and more crime and violence.

So, in the light of this, we can see that the Looper did not take self-responsibility but that from an existential perspective he took the easy way out so that he could die with a clean conscience – not considering the whole of the mess he is leaving behind and for which he does not see himself as being responsible, which is: all of humanity.

So what the story in the movie is revealing is how we as human beings have a limited perspective on what responsibility means because we do not consider the consequence that our life and our actions have towards the whole.

Now commonsensically – when you kill yourself – you destroy your ability to have any form of impact in the world. The point to realize is that as long you are here on earth, there is a potential to change yourself and this whole reality to something that is best for all. So, clearly our concept of self-responsibility towards the whole is currently standing nowhere – because we would easily buy into a story where suicide is considered responsible (regardless of the context) and a solution.

The truth is that the only responsible thing to do is to start a process of self-change – where one recognize that, yes, one is completely programmed, and if we continue our programmed life-walk then the outcome of the collective is certain. We will end up in greater inequality, more crime and violence and eventually, as all Hollywood movies are so nicely showing, complete destruction. Yet within that realization lies the possibility for change, where one decide to no longer accept and allow oneself to be that program, but instead take responsibility for what we have accepted and allowed ourselves to become and start living according to principles that are best for all, just like Jesus did.

So, in the case of the Looper, upon seeing the programmed future unfold – he had an opportunity to make a self-honest decision, which was to stop his life of self-interest (seeing who he would become as an enraged maniak) and become an example of what is best for all.

Obviously this can only be done through self-forgiveness and writing and self-corrective application – so the Looper still had an excuse as these things were not part of his consideration, but the same cannot be said for you, the reader of this blog... Here you are being offered the keys to self-change: self-forgiveness spoken and written in self-honesty and self-corrective application, practiced daily – in every breath – to stop your programmed nature of self-interest and harm and to become the grain that will grow a future of definitive change.

If you had an opportunity to stop your programmed nature (you know what I am talking about, the exact same thoughts you have on a daily basis, the reactions towards people you are unable to stop, the addictions you are a slave to) would you not be curious to investigate? Would you not want to know that there is another life possible?

Don’t become a Looper – take self-responsibility for your Life, investigate the Journey to Life blogs and the desteni forums. You will find many examples of inspiring change and of what it means to stand up.

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

My initial experiences towards Self-Forgiveness

When I first got introduced to Self-Forgiveness – my initial experience towards it was a question mark: what is this?

Yet I could see there was no harm in doing it and the initial Desteni videos were very insisting on it. At that point I remember I was again in a position where I had suffered ‘shipwreck’, metaphorically speaking. My perspectives on reality had again proven to not be valid and I was faced with having to let them go - I felt I could trust nothing and I had to make a decision.

I experienced Self-forgiveness as the last straw – compelling, yet very daunting.

So, eventually I jumped and started my Self-Forgiveness process. I understood that this was not something I would be able ‘fit’ into anything I had done previously. It was literally the unknown.

My question-mark became an exclamation-mark, after I had pushed myself to apply the breathing that was suggested – and together with that speak self-forgiveness after every in-breath. This I was able to do while I was alone at home. I had the whole house to myself while my parents and sisters where either to work or at school. It is during this time that I had to myself alone that I realized – through speaking self-forgiveness out loud - that it really was the solution.

I started applying self-forgiveness on all sorts of thoughts, basically on anything that would come up in my mind – and I would walk around the house, speaking self-forgiveness non-stop. I remember at one point speaking self-forgiveness about blame – where I realized I could no longer continue to blame. After I had dug into this point with Self-Forgiveness – I suddenly said with anger: “Het is gedaan!” Which was me saying that I am no longer accepting and allowing myself to continue existing in blame and that I am taking responsibility for myself. These words had come up inside me and I had spoken them with fierce anger – I was really done with this; I had had enough!

When this was realized – I became very dedicated within my application of self-forgiveness. I really wanted to get all the shit out of me. Every day I started facing new aspects of me that had to be forgiven in order for me to be able to stop them. Within this I faced a lot of emotions like suppressed anger and sadness. Yet what would happen with self-forgiveness is that I would bring the point ‘here’ as me and I would unconditionally forgive it until I was clear within myself and the emotion was no more. This was a powerful realization: I could end my own suffering.

Hence I would recommend self-forgiveness to anyone who within themselves know that who and what they are currently is not sustainable, as the emotions, turmoil and hopelessness they experience. Let me tell you, there is no way out of this. The only way to stop this is through self-forgiveness: you must take responsibility for you.

I can certainly say that I have changed through self-forgiveness – I am no longer a walking time-bomb ready to explode at any given instant when something or someone would trigger a point within me. I stopped my patterns of drinking alcohol, smoking and masturbating to suppress my anger – I stopped using music and movies to wallow in self-pity, I stopped taking advantage of my parents, stopped existing in dreamland in my mind mainly, stopped abusing art as a way to get attention, I have let go of my vain hopes and wishes of becoming a famous writer, I stopped limiting myself according to what I perceive I’m able to do: hence I pushed myself to become a sales-man – and through that I could let go of my morality issues around money.

What I see I would have done had I not taken the opportunity to apply self-forgiveness – I would probably have persisted in my desire to become famous through writing and because of that ended up in a menial job with not much income, continuing drinking alcohol – repeating the pattern of not valuing myself and because my dream would not work out, and as I was unable to have any effective relationships, I would most likely have ended up committing suicide.

So, this was my story on how self-responsibility through self-forgiveness became my saving Grace.


Gabriël Zamora Moreno

Sunday, February 19, 2012

My Experience with building Orgone Devices

Back in 2007 when I was following the love and light path, I got curious about orgone energy and the orgone devices that people were creating around the world.

Leila found a video online about how to make it and I decided I would collect the materials and start making orgone devices. I believed this would assist me greatly in ‘heightening my vibration’ to a more ‘positive frequency’.

Photography by Michèle R.

Hence I went out of my way to research where I could find the different materials (Quartz Kristals, large amounts of tiny Metal scrap parts, and resin). I was very much satisfied when after some time finally having collected all my ingredients.

I took a lot of pleasure in building the orgone ‘pyramids’ as such, because I enjoyed the physical process of placing the Kristals specific inside the resin filled with metal scraps – to then let the whole harden over time. I would then take the hardened resin shape out of it’s form and there I would have my orgone device…

So, from that perspective it was simply an opportunity to have some fun and play around with materials.

Photography by Michèle R.

However, at that time I perceived this would help in bring about a great change within myself and my environment. The principle of the orgone device was that it would absorb all the ‘negative energy’ in its environment and transform this into ‘positive energy’.

What I currently understand, since I’ve walked the process of applying self-forgiveness for some years now and within that I have been taking responsibility for myself and my world – is that it is not possible to change myself or my world by using orgone devices. In a way the belief-system around these devices, is not different than the solution given by Christianity, namely that “Jesus died for all my sins and therefore I can abuse all I want because I am eternally cleansed and also I don’t need to take any self-responsibility for anything I’ve done and I’m simply eternally absolved…” as with the orgone device, it will simply take out all the ‘bad’ and magically replace it with ‘good’, without you having to put in any work into it or without you being in any way accountable. This also shows how spirituality is merely presenting the same formulas that were already presented by Christianity – it’s the same deception.

How is it deception?

Because in Christianity just as with the orgone devices, self-responsibility is ignored – as something/someone outside of you is magically going to absolve and cleanse you.

These methods have proven throughout history to be worthless because they have not resulted in any human being being able to change himself as they don’t provide any tools that assist with self-understanding and self-honesty. If you don’t understand how you have created the mess that you are currently experiencing, then how will you not end up creating the same shit again? It is obvious when looking at history that human beings have made no progress in terms of self-honesty and self-understanding, in any way whatsoever, as can be seen by the violence and bloodshed that is still dominant in today’s world.

Therefore the only way to stop this is by actually taking self-responsibility, through written out and loud-spoken self-forgiveness through which you get to understand what it is you are doing and how you are doing it – so that you can then STOP your patterns of abuse, because you have now seen how it works, and you can make a decision about what you will no longer accept and allow.

To then create a CHANGE in this world that is permanent, you need to educate those around you as to what is self-honesty, and how one can take self-responsibility through self-forgiveness.

Christianity and all its spiritualist offshoots are actually promoting IRRESPONSIBILITY, as they simply refuse to acknowledge the point that self is always responsible – insisting that outside forces are your ‘saving grace’.

With Self-forgiveness you have to become your own ‘saving grace’- because through self-forgiveness you start to look at all the aspects of yourself that are not in alignment with what is best for all life – and you start a process of re-scripting yourself into a being that is trustworthy and that stands for what is best for all – thus becoming your own creator. The message of Jesus ‘Do unto your neighbor as you would like them unto you’ lived practically.

See the Destonian vlogs and read our Blogs to see how we change ourselves for real – we are proof that ‘Human Nature’ is just an excuse and that every single person is able to do this.

This is not a matter of skill, but a matter of Will.

Do you have the Will?

Gabriel Zamora Moreno

Sunday, February 5, 2012

How I was able to hear the Desteni message

There are a couple of aspects as to why I was able to hear the Desteni message. One of them is that shortly before finding Desteni I had become very focused on and obsessed with spirituality, because I had a problem… the problem was that I was experiencing physical pain, and I wanted to use meditations, sound frequency, self-hypnosis and similar techniques to manipulate my body so that I would feel better.

Whenever I would do these things, it would make the situation worse.

I would be in more pain and the situation wasn’t better at all. So, I was getting pretty desperate… and it was clear to me that what I was doing was on a level that a doctor would not be able to help me, because they’re not going to be interested in self-hypnosis and creative visualization and how that works or how you program your body with that bullshit.

And - I felt pretty alone in this, and I was thinking that I must be the only person in the world who is dealing with this. I was in other words under the impression that “I’m fucked”.

If we look at Desteni, what is the core message? It’s self-forgiveness. Thus the message I was given is that if I want to ‘alleviate my situation’, I will have to take self-responsibility – the only way out is self-responsibility.

So, when I tried self-forgiveness for myself, and when taking it seriously, I found it to be directly effective and it did also assist me. I had actually direct physical feedback of the effectiveness of self-forgiveness. Whenever I would be working with a point, there would be a self-release and a there would be a physical release, and I was able to work through the pains I was experiencing.

So, that’s one aspect.

Another aspect is the common sense aspect, of why I was able to hear the Desteni message. Because, when I was busy with the “love and light”, the meditations and the ascension, I was also a believer in 2012… believing that some beings are going to ascend and that’s just how it’s going to be, and there was one particular interview done by Jack, who is one of the beings who spoke through the portal, and he explained in a very straightforward manner that basically: 2012 is not going to happen. And that it is in essence greed, because in the projection of ascension the idea is that some will be ‘saved’ and they will ascend, and then those who have ascended will just wait for the rest who remain suffering on earth. And he made it clear how massive separation that is and total self-interest, and within myself… I could not argue with that. I saw that so clearly, how ascension was actually evil.

So, from that point of not being able to argue with that, I simplistically developed respect towards the points that Desteni was bringing forward… and I started to investigate more and more.

In essence, what made me realize that Desteni was for real is when I would apply self-forgiveness – this was in a period when I had a lot of time to myself, which I was fortunate to have, I realize that – I had a lot of time to apply self-forgiveness. I was all alone, and I could speak self-forgiveness out loud, unhindered, and I could really check this thing out, you know…

I could really check it out – and I did. And I found for myself through the application of self-forgiveness that it worked. There was immediate effect and feedback. I was basically through self-forgiveness discovering what self-expression is, because I have never in my Life (that I am aware of) discovered self-expression, which did open up through self-forgiveness. And I found it quite magnificent, and I decided that – fuck – I’m going to stick with this…

These are just a couple of points, a couple of perspectives on what I was experiencing at that time and what were the reasons why I was able to hear the Desteni message, why it made sense to me – and why I got so interested.

For more information on Desteni and how to change yourself, visit: and