Wednesday, April 9, 2008

being funny - fear of being ignored

That's basically it. What the title says... The need and urge to be funny and cause reactions of joy and laughter in others = fear of being ignored. Fear of not being seen, because I don't see myself - reject myself. What is the self I refuse to see, which I reject? Me as all as equal as one, equal with joy as me.

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to need and want to be seen and be ejoyed as funny - because I apparently cannot enjoy myself.

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to want to be enjoyed and enjoyable, so as to find a way to enjoy myself.

I forgive myself that i have allowed and accepted myself to separate myself from Joy - in wanting others to enjoy me so that I can enjoy myself.

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