Friday, May 23, 2008

friendship = fear of future ?

I found out - when it comes to the perception of why I need friends, certain people in my world - there is alot of fear of the future involved. So, because my future is allways uncertain, I want to keep certain friends allways around me, I allways want to remain friends with certain people, keep in touch with them - out of practical considerations about the future. Out of fear.

I forgive msyelf that i have allowed msyefl to want to controll the outcome of my life through keeping my friends with me and around me and through keeping in touch with them.

I forgive myself that I have allowed msyelf to let myself be controlled by uncartainty about the future.

I forgive msyelf that I have allowed myself to want to be able o rely on friends as a safeguard against the future.

I forgive myself that I have allowed msyelf to think I need friends to enrich my life while in point of fact I need them because I live in fear of the future.

I forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf to think and believe I mut at all cost keep a certain amount of friends, because one day "I migt need them".

I forgive myself that I have allowed msyelf to allways keep a certyain amount of friends, to be sure I will never be all alone and by myself in the furure, at the mercy of this world.

I forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyefl to live in fear of the future and from this starting- point wanting controll over it through keeping in touch with my friends.

I forgive msyelf that I ahve allowed msyefl to fear i will die all alone, if i dont keep a certain amount of friends.

I forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf to fear the future, and from this fear wanting to strengthen my relationships and hide inside these friendships.

I forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyefl to think friendships will protect me against death and starvation.

I forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyefl to fear death and starvation.

I forgive myself that I have allwoed msyefl to live in fear of death by starvation - in fear of living on the streets.

I forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyefl to fear losing my friends, because then i have no safeguard against the future.

I forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyefl to want certain people to need me so that I can keep them as friends as a safeguard for the future.

I forgive myself that I have allowe myself to participate in fear of the future - all that exists is HERE, as I am here.

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