Sunday, June 15, 2008

male honour

I forgive msyelf that i ahve allowed msyelf to define me as male

I forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf to prefer female company over male company

I forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf to rahter be in the presence of females than males

I forgive msyelf that i have allowed msyelf to feel more safe in the presence of females than the presence of males

I forgive msyelf that i have allowed msyelf to feel more proteced in the presence of females than in the presence of males - especially when i find myself amongst several females

I forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf to fear the company of men

I forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf to think i dont know what to say when I sit at one table with several people

I forgive msyelf that i have allowed msyelf to play an act so as to be able to keep being accepted in the group

I forgive myself that I have allowed msyelf to give bullshit answers to questions

I forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf to become slightly nervous amongst men and then play an act

I forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf to feel more confident in the presence of woman than in the presence of men

I forgive msyelf that i have allowed msyelf tod efine self-confidence as being in the company/presence of females

I forgive msyelf that I have allwoed msyelf to define female as unharmfull and passive

mother: passive/ father: active

I forgive msyelf that i have allowed msyelf to think woman are 'less strong than men' and thereofe they are less important

I forgive msyelf that I have allwoed msyelf to think that because woman are in general less phisically strong than men, they are inferior to men

I forgive msyelf that i have allowed msyelf to feel inferior to a man, because I think i am not as phisically strong as he is

I forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf to feel infinitely inferior to my father because he has much stronger arms and hands than me

I forgive msyelf that I have allwoed msyelf to define strenght as having broad shoulders and muscled arms

I forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf to think woman are les than men because thir muscles are generally less develloped than those of men

I forgive msyelf that I have allowe msyelf to feel safe amongst woman, because they can hit me - yes- but not so that i would fear the pain from this

I forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf to feel more safe with my mother because she hits me less and if she does it is less painfull than with my dad

I forgive msyelf that I have allwoed msyelf to fear being in the presence of a man who i deem might be phisically more strong than me, because the possibility exist that if i displease him he may hit me hard

I forgive mysemlf that i have allowed msyelf to hide myself more in the presence of men than in the presence of woman

I forgiv emsyelf that i have allowed msyelf to think men are more dangerous than woman

I forgive myself that i have allowed msyelf to prefer the company of woman/girls over that of men, because I think they are less dangerous

I forgive msyelf that I have allowedmsyelf to think that being with a man is dangerous

I forgive msyelf that i have allowed msyelf to attach value to how a man looks - how I look, - because I dont 'look strong'

I forgive msyelf that i have allwoed msyelf to think and believe that the word 'girl' is an insult when used to designate me

I forgive msyelf that i have allowed msyelf to feel insulted when somebody calls me a girl

I forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf to get angry when somebody calls me a girl

I forgive msyelf that I hva allowed msyelf to think that because I am not so wild and dangerous as men - I rather 'belong 'in the company of woman/girls

I forgive msyelf that i have allowed msyelf to feel uncomfortable when somebody asks me if I have a girlfriend

I forgive msyelf that i have allowed msyelf to be ashamed of msyelf because I dont haver a girlfriend

I forgive msyelf that i have allowed msyelf to think it is ridiculous and a disgrace 'that I still dont have a girlfriend and that I never had sex'

I forgive msyelf that i have allowed msyelf to think i must uphold my honour - the honour of being a male - through having a grilfriend and having sex

I forgive msyelf that i have allowe dmsyelf to define honour as being a man

I forgive myself that i have allowed msyelf to define honour as being aboy

I forgive msyelf that i havce allowed msyefl tod efine honour as having a girlfriend

I forgive msyelf that i have allowed msyelf to defin honour as a girl that apparently fancies me

I forgive msyelf that i have allwoed msyelf to define honour as a girl falling in love with me

I forgive msyelf that i have allowed msyelf to define honour as a girl looking at me with a certain interest

I forgive msyelf that i have allwoed msyelf to define honour as agirl hidding on me

I forgive msyelf that i have allwoed msyelf tod efine honour as a girl looking me in the eyes

I forgive msyelf that i have allwoed myself to define honour as a girl wan,ting to spend time with me

I forgive msyelf taht i have allowed msyelf to define honour a s agirl seeing me as her best friend

I forgive msyelf that i have allowed myself to define honour as a girl telling me she thinks I look handsome.

I forgive msyelf that i have allowed msyelf to define honour as being held in high regards by girls

I forgive msyelf that i have allowed msyelf to define honour as bing the eldest and being a boy

I forgive msyelf that i have allowed msyelf to define honour as receiving attention from several woman at the same time

I forgive msyelf that i have allowed msyelf to define honour as walking the streets with L. or H. because I judge their appearence as being beautifull

I forgive msyelf that i hav eallowed msyelf to define honour as agirl comming over to talk to me

I forgive msyelf that i have allowed msyelf to define honour as agirl noticing me

I forgive msyelf that i have allwoed msyelf to define honour as baing stared at by a girl

I forgive msyelf that i have allowed msyelf to define honour as baing noticed by a group of girls - them turning their heads and stuff

I forgive msyelf that i have allowed msyelf tod efine honour as a woman coming to sit next to me in class

I forgive msyelf that i have allowd msyef to define honour as sitting at a table with only woman

I forgive msyelf that i have allwoed msyelf to define honour as my collegue fromw rok wanting to hook me up with a girl/partner - even though i did not even ask anything of this sort from her and I barely know her

I forgive msyelf that i have allowed msyelf to define honour as going to a party and girls looking at me dance and showing interest in me

I forgive msyelf that i have allwoed msyelf to define honour as N A wanting to kiss me

I forgive msyelf that i have allowed msyelft o define honour as K. wanting to kiss me

I forgive msyelf that i have allowed msyelft o define honour as masturbating a girl and she giving me signs that i am 'doing it well'/the right way and she is having pleasure

I forgive msyelf that i have allowed msyelf to define honour as R. squeezing my arm when i was masturbating her, because this meant she was having pleasure

i forgive msyelf that i have allowed msyelf to define honour as a girl proposing for me to have sex with her

I forgive msyelf that i have allwoed msyelf to define honour as a girl wanting to have sex with me

I forgive msyelf that i have allwoed msyelf to definbe honour as a pregnant woman taking interest in me, sexually

I forgive msyelf that i have allwoed msyelf to define honour as abing noticed by a woman who is actualy pregnant

I forgive msyelf that i have allwoed msyelf to define honour as baing able to draw the attantion of a girl/woman who is already 'engaged'

I forgive msyelf that i have allowed msyelft o define honour as being able to draw the attention of a girl who already has a boyfriend

I forgive msyelf that i have allowed mysyelf to define honour as making the boyfriend of a girl jalous

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