Wednesday, June 4, 2008

self-pity

I forgive msyelf that I have allwoed msyelf to have self-pity

I forgive msyefl that I have allowed msyelf to have pity with myself

In forgive msyelf that I ahve allwoed myself to pity msyelf

I forgive msyelf thyat i ahev allowed msyelft o to have pity with myself because I am in pain an because I suffer

I forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyeflt o have pity with myself because i am sad and I feel heavy

I forgive msyelf that I have allwoed msyelf to want people to have pity with me, because I have such a hard time

I forgive msyelf that I have allwoed msyelf to want people to have pity with me, so that I dont have to change

I forgive msyelf that I ahve allowed msyelft need pity from peope as a validation and excuse to not change myself - to remain stuck

I forgive msyelf that I have allwoed msyelf to pity myself because afyter nine months in Psychiatry i now have to go back to school

I forgive msyelf that I ahve allwoed msyelf to have self-pity becasue I have to attend math class again, after having attended no serious math cass for nine months

I forgive msyelf that I ahve allwoed msyelf to have self-pity because I cannot concentrate msyelf

I forgive msyelf that I ahve allowed msyelft o have self-pity, because I am soo tired after work

I forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf to have self-pity because I am in process and I often excpereince this as hard

i forgive myself that I have allwoed msyelft o

I forgive msyelf that i ahev allowed msyelf to live in self dishonesty as self-pity, becaseu in this I re-enforce the belief that i cannot change myself and rathyer complain about myself

I forgive msyelf that i have allowed msyeflt o commplain about myself - about everything- so that I would feel helpless about myself

I forgive msyelf that i ahve allwoed msyelf to need to complain about msyelf so that I can remain in the illusion of helplessness

I forgive myself that I have allowed msyelf to have self-pity because I never fell in love with someone

I frogive msyelf that I have allwoed msyelf to have self-pity because I am scared to travel alone to a distant country

I forgive msyelf that i ahve allwoed msyelf to have self-pity because of the kind of father I have

I forgive msyelf that I ahve allwoed msyelf to feel self-pity because when I was a child my father would hit me

I forgive msyelf that I ahve allwoed msyelf to have self-pity and believeing that my expereince of msyelf is much worse than that of anyone else - so they have no right to tell me I must or can do somthing about it

I forgive msyelf that i ahve allowed msyelft o think 'I'm real bad - its soo bad'

I forgive msyelf that I ahve allwoed msyelf to have self-pity because I have so many fears

I forgive msyefl that i ahve allwoed myself to want people to have pity with me because I have so many fears, so that i dont have to bother about transcending and moving and walking through the fear, because I fear change ultimately

I forgive msyelf that I ahve allowed msyelf to have self-pitry to validate my fear of change

I forgive msyelf that i have allowed msyelft o have self-pity because I didnt succeed in writing abook when I wanted to - I didnt reach my deadline

I forgive msyelf that I ahve allwoed msyelf to have self-pity because I have a job which has got nothing to do with what i ahve studied for, and dont has such great income

I forgive msyelf that i ahve allowed msyelf to have self-pity because I am dependent of my father

I forgive msyelf that I ahve allwoed msyelf to have self pity because I fear my father

I forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf to have self pity because my parents 'dont understand me'

I forgive myself that I ahve allwoed msyelf to have self-pity 'baceuse not many peope undrerstand me'

I forgive msyelf that I ahve allwoed msyelf to have self-pity becasue I have to give up everything of how I have defined msyelf in separation

I forgive msyelf that i ahve allwoed msyelf to have self-pity and remain in this, so that i dont have to face all the points of separation within me

I forgive msyelf that I ahve allowed msyelf to have self-pity becaseu I am unhappy

I forgive msyelf that I ahve allwoed msyelft o have self-pity because Katrijn suddenly hates me

I forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf to have self-pity because a boyscout leader yelled at me - so that others would comfort me and give me attention

I forgive myself that I have allwoed msyelf to want to have and remain in self-pity so that someone would 'put their arm around me an comfort me'

I forgive myself that I have allwoed msyelft o get drunk out of self-pity

I forgive msyelf that I have allowe dmsyelf to have self-pity and out of self-pity drink myself to waste

I forgive myself that i have allowe dmsyelf o have self-pity because I had to do my forth grade over again

I forgive msyeklf that I have allowed msyelft to have selfpitty because now I am not in class with my friends anymore

I forgive msyelf that I ahve allowed msyelf to have self pity and think 'why me????'

I forgive msyelf that I ahve allwoed msyelf to think that if people really knew me, they actually would be nice to me

I forgive msyelf that I ahve allwoed msyelf to have self-pity because "I am convinced 9/11 was perpertated by American government, but no one will believe me"

I forgive myself that I ahve allwoed msyelf to have self-pity because "I am convinced there is a world elite, but most people will not believe me"

I forgive msyelf that I have allwoed msyelf to have self-pity because most of my friends dont want to believe chemtrails are real

I forgive msyelf that i ahve allwoed msyelf to have sel-pity because I dont receive a phonecall often

I forgive msyelf that I ahve allwoed myself to have selfpitty because I dont receive personal emails often, yet I check my mails evey day

I forgive msyelf that I ahve allwoe dmsyelf to check my mails every day, to re-enforce the self-pity I have with myself

I forgive msyelf that i ahve allwoed msyelf to ahve self-pity because my family is on holliday and I am all alone for a walk in brussels and "I feel so lost and abandoned"

I forgive msyelf that I have allwoed msyelf to have self-pity because of how my face looks in the mirror

I forgive msyelf that I ahve allwoed msyelf to have self-pitty because my face doesnt look how I expected, when seeing it on a picture or in profile with special arranged mirrors

I forgive msyelf that I ahve allwoed msyelf to have self-pitty because of the acne on my face

I forgive msyelf that I have allwoed msyelf to have self-pitty because of the acne on my penis

I forgive msyelf that I ahve allwoed msyelf to have self-pitty because my penis is not symmetrical when it stand erect, but bows to the left

I forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf to ahve self-pitty because one testicel hangs lower than the other

I forgive msyelf that I ahve allwoed msyelft to have self-pitty when feeling excluded

I forgive msyelf that I ahve allwoed msyelft o have self-pitty "because with a penis like mine I will surely never have sex - unless I go to a prostitute"

I forgive msyelf that I ahve allwoed msyelf to have self-pitty so as to eternally remain the same - within the same application of dishonesty

I forgive msyelf that I have allwoed msyelf to have self-pitty because when I walk my feet bend inwardly and some people make fun of this

I forgive msyelf that I ahve allwoe dmsyelf to have self-pitty because my mom said that my handshake is not "strong enough"

ok...

Ill continue here or in other format - there is much to go through

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