Sunday, July 20, 2008

8

i forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf to see myself as helpless when i dont undesrtand somehting immediately

i forgive myself that I have allowed msyelf to expereince anxiety when not understanding something right away

i forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf to fear i dont undesrtand somehting and then become all nervous

i forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf to panic when not undesraynding soemthing, especially when i see others do undesrand it

i forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf to become anry when, i dont undserand something, why something just happended

i forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf to become angry when i dont undersatnd why something is happening to me

i forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf to become irritated with msyelf when i dont seem to understand something

i forgive myself that I have allowed myself to fear others have a faster understanding than me

i forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf to feel inferior when thinking another has a faster undserstanding than me

i forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf to define msyelf as having a fast understanding

i forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf to feel superior to another when understanding something faster than them

i forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf to feel superior to my father because i undertsand stuff he doesnt

i forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf to feel superior to my mom because i undsertand stuff she doesnt

i forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf to feel superior to people because i undseratnd philosophy and they often dont

i forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf to feel superior to my family because i think i understand a wholme lot more than them, because for instance i read a lot philosophy

i forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf to feel superior to people at work, because i think/believe i have so much undseranding wcich they apperently have not - and thus when speaking, i speak from superiority and not onnes and equality

i forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf to feel superior to my grandfather because i belive i undserstand everything much better than him, because i supposedly have a deeper understanding of things

i forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf to feel superior to the people in my class when i would understand something and they wouldnt

i forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf to feel superior to other people at universsity because they couldnt understand philosophy

i forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf to feel superior to my father because i think he is dumb

i forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf to judge both my parents as dumb and with no understanding

i forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf to credit myself for my understanding and feel superior towards other people who dont seem to have this undesratnding

i forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf to glorify myself becaus i think i undesratnd so much

i forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf to feel threatened by matti because i perceived he undesrtood more than i did

i forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf to feel threatened by bram because i perceived he understood more than i did

i forgive msyelf that i have allowe msyelf to feel inferior to weyember because i perceived he had vast amounts of knowlegde and understood more than me

i forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf to feel threatened by tala because i perceived he understood more than me

i forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf to feel threatened by chris because i perceived he understood more than me

i forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf to feel threatened by somone when they point out to me i didnt understand something

i forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf to find it intolerable when someone has to point out that i dont understand something

i forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf to become angry within when somebody claims i didnt understand or see soemthing, or missed a point

i forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf to see understanding as everything

i forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf to place my faith in understanding

i forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf to place my trust in undesrdtanding

i forgive msyelf that i have allowed msyelf to feel bad when im the last one to understand something

i forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf to feel lost when im the last one to understand something - to then feel inferior and less than

i forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelfto see understanding as an indication of superiority

i forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf to within my mind claim superiority through my understanding

i forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf to beat msyelf up when not understanding soemthing right away

i forgive msyelf that I have allwoed msyelf to want to understand most of all the people, to have the most advanced and fastest understanding

i forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf to see msyelf as having the fastest understanding of all - so that i can feel good about msyelf within my mind

i forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf to want to develop an enormous understanding of this reality - so that people would value me and rely on me for guidance

i forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf to equate understanding with leadership and power

i forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf to think that if i have a fast understanding and broad and insightfull knowledge i should be a leading figure in the world

i forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf to admire politicians for their understanding - and equate this understanding with their apparent power

i forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf to see understanding as power

i forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf to thinbk if i have the most understanding ill have the most power

i forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf to assume politicians actually have any understanding at all

i forgive msyelf that I have allwoed msyelf to think that to gain positions of power and become powerfuill in this world one must have undesrtanding to be able to provide guidance to others

i forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf to to want to blast peopel with my philosophical understanding

i forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf to want to blast people who read my stories because i percieve i place much understanding in it

i forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf to value knowledge based undesratnding more than anything and to have nothing else in my life

i forgive msyelf that i have allwoed msyelf to think i am 'my life ' and that m'y life ' defines me

i forgive msyelf that i have allowed msyelf to equate undesrtanding with power because i have seen this in school where teachers have power because of their superior undesrtanding

i forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf to think and perceive teachers have a superior understanding

i forgive msyelf that i have allowed msyelf to feel infinitely inferior to teachers because they apperently have such a superior undesrtanding

i forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf to feel infinitely inferior to my father because of his undesrtanding

i forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyel to feel inferior to teachers because they have more knowledge than me

i forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf to feel inferior to university professors because i perceived they had such a deep undesrtanding of life and existence

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