Sunday, July 6, 2008

comfort/luxury

i forgive myself that I have allowed msyelf to define comfort seperate from myself

I forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf to define comfort as having a house - a warm house - to live in

I forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf tod efine comfort as sitting in the coutch under a blancet watching televion

I forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf tod efine comfort as lying in the coutch under a blancet watching television with a bag of chips next to me and also my cigarettes within my reach and a bottle of water

I forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf to define comfort as in the morings making a cup of coffee and taking it along when i go sitting in a coutch - the leather coutch

I forgive myself that I have allowed msyelf to define comfort as sitting in our leather coutch and putting out the relax-mode for my legs - an option that is built in the coutch

I forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf to not want to let go of this definition of comfort

I forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf to fear losing this comfort - as I have defined it in the world

I forgive msyelf that I have allowed myself to define comfort in seperartion with myself, seperate from who i am

I forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf tod efine comfort as having many pillows when sitting in the leather coutch

I frogive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf tod efine absolute comfort as sitting in our leather coutch and think our coutch is the best

I forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf to define comfort as having radiators in the house to keep me warm

I frogive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf to define comfort as putting the radiator a bit higher instead of putting on a sweater when I am cold

I forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf to define comfort as being able to open a window in the summer

I forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf to define comfort according to the furniture i use and sit on/in

I forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf to define comfort as eating my dinner while sitting in the coutch and watching television

I frogive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf tod efine comfort as turning the coutch upstairs into a bed and putting the entire table on the bed so that we can watch film on the laptop - which we place on the table on the bed - while lying down

I forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf to define comfort as having akitchen of my own

I frogive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf tod efien comfoirt as having a room of my own

I frogive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf to define comfort as having a "nice wooden floor" where I can play on, sitting on my knees and such

I forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf tod efine comfort as having a kitchen with cupboards stuffed with foods

I forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf to define comfort as having afridge fillded with foods for me to pick out what I choose, even when I'm not really hungry or thirsty

I frogive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf to define comfort as having a backer one street further where we can get our bread quickly

I forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf to define comfort as my parents having done the shopping for the entire week already so that the cupboards are stuffed with foods and candy/chips and such, and chocolate cookies

I frogive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf to define comfort as my mother doing teh laundry for me

I forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf tod efine comfort as leila doing the lmaundry for me

I forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf tod efine comfort as my mother making dinner for me and expect her to continue doing this

I forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf tod efine comfort as comming home and the dinner is ready

I frogive msyelf that I hve allowed msyelf tod efien comfort as getting downstaiars and just being able to breakfast because everything is provided for

I forgive myself that I have allowed msyelf tod efine comfort as having my own laptop and in this fearing that somethuing might happen to it

I frogive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf to defien comfort as at all times having acces to the internet to visit the desteni-website whenever i am bored or check my emails

I frogive msyelf that I ahve allowed msyelf to defien comfort as having a big house - in comparison to other houses - where i can sit in many different rooms

I forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf tod efine comfort as sitting in the car with my father and Julio, the car being rather a 4 x 4 jeep with nice coutches to sit in

I forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf to define comfort as having my own cupboard full of clothes that I alone may wear

I frogive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf tod efine comfort as my mother buying my clothes for me so that I dont have to do this thank you please

I forgive msyelf that i have allowed msyelf to define comfort as my mother putting all my clothes in my cupboard after she has finished washing them and stuff (en strijken ook)

I forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf tod efien comfort as taking a bath with a maximum amount of warm water

I forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf to define comfort as having a micro-wave oven so that I can warm up my dinner super-quick

I forgive msyelf that i have allowed msyelf tod efine comfort as having a big oven so that I can warm up a pizza - this means i dont have to cook

I forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf to see comfort as something that exists seperate and outside of me that I must see to protect and keep

I forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf tod efine comfort as having a credit card so that I can pay anytime i any shop easily

I forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf tod efine comfort as having enough money on my bank account so that I dont have to worry when using my credit card

I forgive msyelf that I have allowed msuelf to define comfort as the chairs we have in the living room and alos the table we eat at

I forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf tod efien comfort as having lights in every room of the house, so that I can put on the light when it is dark

I forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf to define comfort as having a house full of operatinal electricity, so that all the stuff is able to function

I forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf to define comfort - ...

i take a break

i continue

I forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf to think i need my father and need to b in his favor so that I can keep enjoying the comfort he provides

I forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf to defien comfort seperate from who i am, and in this becomming dependent on my father

I forgive msyelf that I ahve allowed msyuel to fear world cataclysms because then i will lose my apparent comfort

I frogive msyelf that I ahve allowed msyelf to defien comfort as living in belgium, which is 'wealthy country'

I forgive msyemlf that i have allowed msyelf tod efine comfort as living in a european country, because europe has the richest countries

I forgive msyelf that I have allwoed msyelf tod efien comfort as havning an abundance of money

I forgive msyelf that I have allowed smyelf tod efine comfort as having money ad infinitum

I forgiev msyuelf that I have allowed msyelf to define comfort as in my imagination winning the lottery

I forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf to think that as long as i have material comfort in and of this world there is no reason really to move msyelf

I forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf to submerge msyelf within this definitions of comfrot and enslave myself

I forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf to enslave msyelf through definition adn separatation

I forgive msyelf that i ahve allowed msyelf to define comfort as having acar and a televioson (bigscreen)

I forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf tod efine comfort as having three computers in the house

I forgive msyelf that I have allowed myelf to define comfort as having plenty videogames to play

I forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf to sink back in the mind as this comfort-definitions

I forgive msyefl that i ahve allowed msyelf to think and believe that the perception of comfort that exists in the world is eve,n real

I forgive msyefl that I have allowed msyelf tod efien comfort as having a means of transport, a bike a car or a bus or a train

I forgive msyelf that I ahve allowed msyelf tod efien comfort as baing able to pay myself the rent of an appartment

i forgive msyelf that I ahve allowed mseyfl tod efien comfort as being allowed by my father to smoke in the house

I frogive msyefl that I have allowed mseyfl tod efien comfort as having a walkman

I forgive mseylf taht I have allowed msyelf to define comfotrt as at all times being able to put on music and hear it in my ears

I forgive msyefl that I have allowed msyelf tod efine comfort as having a disc-man and being able to at all times hear the music i like

I forgive msyefm that i ahve allowed msyelf tod efien comfort as having a room of my own where i can put on the music i like

I forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyeflt od efien comfort as having so much money i dont have to worry over it anymore

I forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf to wish I will always have and enjoy material comfort in the future

I forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf to fear moving out of this house and leaving my parents because of fea of losing the comfort

I forgive msyelf that I have allowed mseyfl to limit myself throigh defining ciomfort as a feature I must and only can enjoy in this house

I forgive msyefl that I have allowed msyelf tod efien comfort as living in this comunity zaventem where it is allways peacefull and quiet and I can go for walks in a parc

I forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf to define comfort as having a train station just five minutes from where the house is

I forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf to define comfort as having warm sheets to cover myself at night and a soft matrass on my bed, rather than a hard one

I forgive mseyfl that I have allowed mseyflt o defien comfort as slepping in a bed reather than on the floor

I forgive msyelf that I ahve allowed msyelf tod efien comfort as being able to sleep alone and undisturbed

I forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf tod efien comfort as being able to sleep out in the weekdends

I forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf tod efine comfort as being able to sleep 8 - 10 hours in a warm bed

I forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf tod efine comfort as being able to sleep till midday in a warm bed, undisturbed by anyone and nobody comes to wake me up

I forgive msyelf that I ahve allowed msyelf to defien comfort as in the evening not hearing one single noise when I go to sleep

I forgive msyelf that I have allowed mseyfl tod efine comfort as having a Quiet place - not too much sound etc

I forgive msyemlf that I have allowed msyelf tod efien comfort as having a house with isolation in the walls so that the cold stays outside and we cannot hear the neighbours

I frogive msyelf that I ahve allowed msyelf tod efien comfort as when going to sleep it being quiet, so when my dad was watching tv i would ask him every evening to put the volume down

I forgive msyelf that I havbe allowed msyefl to get irritated by sounds - loud noises when i want to sleep -

I forgive msyelf that I ahve allowed mseyfl tod efien comfort as having many many socks in my drawer

I frogive msyelf that I ahve allowed smeyfl tod efine comfort as being able to change underwear evryday

I forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyefl tod efine comfort as being able to put on 'clean socks' every day

I forgive msyelf that I have allowed mseylf tod efien comfort as having warm trousers

I forgive msyelf that I have allowed mseyfl tod efine comforta s having this cupboard fuill of clothes so that every day I can choose what to wear

I forgive me that i have allowed msyelf to define comfort as being able to clos the door so that i dont hear the noises from outside the room

I forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf tod efien comfort according to the walls of this house

I forgive msyelf that i ahve allowed msyelf tod efien comfort as having a roof over my head

I forgive msyelf that i have allowed mseylf to defien comfort as being protected against the rain

I forgiev msyefl taht I ahve allowed smeyfl tod efine comfort as living within closed walls protected from thye weather

I forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf to define comfort as living in a country where one can call the paolice

I forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyel to defien comfort as being able to use a phone to telephone anyone anytime

I forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf to define comfort as living in a prosperous country like belgium

I forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf tod efien comfort as being able to visit a doctor

I forgive msyelf that I have allowed mseyfl tod efine comfort as baing able to drink water whenever i feel like it

I forgive myself that I have allowed msyelf tod efine comfort as eating whenever i feel like it

I forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf tod efien comfort as eating three times a day

I forgive msyelf that i have allowed msyelf tod efine comfort as being able to count on this that I will recieve three meals a day

I forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf to defien comfort as eating warm dinner at least once evrry day

I forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf tod efine comfort as eating warm food wonce a day

I forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyefl tod efien comfort as having money so that at all times i can buy myself something to drink or to eat

I forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf tod efien comfort as beaing able to but on a jacket when its cold outside

I forgiev myself that I have allowed msyelf to defien comfort as having a warm cape when it rains

I forgive msyelf that I have allowed mseylf tod efien comfort as finding a place for shelter when its raining and i m outside

I forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf tod efine comfort as being able to take a shower veryday

I forgive mseyfl that I have allowed msyelf tod efien comfort as baing able to use abathroom every day

I forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf tod efien comfort as being able to brush my teeth at least once a day (if i choose to)

I forgive msyelf taht I have allowed msyelf tod efien comfort as being on earth and breathing rather than in dimesnions

I forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf to defien comfort as being able to take things one breath at atime instead of evberything at once in the dimensions

I forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf tod efien comfort as allways being able to buy some food if i want to

I frogiev msyelf tahgt I have allowed msyelf tod efien comfort as being able to use a toilet anytime and anywhere i want

I forgive msyelf taht I have allowed msyelf to defien comfort as being able to take a shit on a clean toilet

I forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf tod efien comfort as having a clean toilet

I forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf tod efien comfort as being able to eat out of clean plates and drink out of clean glasses

I frogiev msyelf that I ahve allowed mseyfl to defien comfort as being able to put all dirty dishes in washingmachine

1 comment:

Marlen said...

great stuff gabs, you really dug deep and have triggered me to write about this.. yep still the this bugging me...

this one is something I would definitely write:
"I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to define comfort as having my own laptop and in this fearing that something might happen to it"

I wrote that some time ago.. same deal.. and the internet thing yes.. I will write thanks for sharing