Saturday, July 26, 2008

pfffff

this moring i am so angry

when i see maite do or say anything i become angry - its like i hate her

pfffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf to judge msyelf,

i forgive msyel that i ahvea allowed msyelf to judge msyelf

the anger still here

i allmost explode when making a typo

why am i angry?

its actually againts leila aswell, everyone irritates me

i forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf to wish maite and leila didnt exist

i forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf to hate the fact that maite and leila even exist

what could be going on?

i forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelfto hate them so much i could kill them

my head is sore and sinusses hurt - i cried a lot day yesterday i have no fokkingcluie whaty going on )- fok this

4 comments:

Ann said...

Heavy stuff... frustrations
hmmm
Could it be judgements towards yourself? So sick of yourself that your so sick of others as yourself.

marlenlife said...

}gabs, cool.... release...

as Ann says, it's all your experience when you are irritated at yourself so maybe SF on why allowing the irritability existing within you and therefore, manifesting as judgments towards the 'whole' that surrounds you as you.

I went through similar situation this saturday, that same 'feeling' with mother, so I just dug why I feel this way when she even comes close, like you said here. Was not pretty to see the past resentment and how it all began... and you'll see starting point is of the mind, therefore, crap. lol

but I'm walking through this until reactions are non existent, you know all as you mirroring you specifically.

Easy as this: if you cannot bare your thoughts as mind/irritability, drop it you know what to do.

Mind Robot said...

thx both of u

toxni said...

Hi Gabriel,

I can relate to hating sisters and relations when we were all living together. There were points where you just couldn't do anything about it but you had to face them. It was excruciating.

Without these problems/troubles you would just find other things to be frustrated at and wish them to go away. I have run away from things a few times and the same things come back.

Thanks for sharing your self forgivenesses.

Matthew.