Friday, August 1, 2008

help

i forgive myself that I have allowed msyelf to expect help to 'come' from a source seperate from me

i forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf to wait for help, because i believe i am to weak to stand and walk on my own

i forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf to define help as 'being helped by another seperate from me'

I forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf to hope for help

i forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf to seek help in and define help as being in Kortenberg - where beings apparently help me

i forgive myself that I have allowed msyelf to fear recognizing i must be my own help and help myself to stand and walk

i forgive myself that I have allowed msyelf to expect my mother to help me in conflicts with my father

i forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf to define help as my mother in my world

i forgive msyelf that I ahve allowed msyelf to define help as being helped by the people in kortenberg

i forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf to define help as 'receiving help' from the people in kortenberg and in this being dishonest and denying myself the help that is Here as myself

i forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf to expect my father to help me against this boy who was running after me and who was throwing rocks at me instead of stopping him, helping msyelf to stop him

i forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf to when i was being bullied by kenny expect someone in the enviroment to come to my help

i forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf to when i was being chased by a car with kenny's people, run for help in fear instead of standing as my own help and facing myself

i forgive myself that I have allowed msyelf to want my friends to help me when someone at school had hit me

i forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf to expect this man to help me because i was scared of a dog barking

i forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf to expect poeple will help me when i am drunk and in this state enjoy the dishonesty of being helpless

i forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf to see myself as helpless

i forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf to define msyelf as a helpless person

i forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf to think i can do noithing in the world to help msyelf and fear situations where i have to stand up

i forgive myself that I have allowed msyelf to want and seek help from other beings and adults when i had broozed my knee and they needed to take care of me

i forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf to enjoy this part of playing the victim and place msyelf in the care and apparent helping hands of another, so i dont have to take responsability

i forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf to enjoy being helpless

i forgive msyelf that I ahve allowed msyelf to want to be helpless

i forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf to hide behind helplessness to dont have to stand and walk

i forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf to hide msyelf behind a blief that i am helpless and i must be taken care of

i forgive msyelf that I have allowed myself to play helpless so that otehrs would take care of me

i forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf to define msyelf as helpless and not able to be my own help - so that others would help me and i would feel safe

i forgive msyelf that I ahve allowed msyelf to think that when others help me nothing can hapen to me anymore and i am apparently safe - because i have been discharged of any and all responsibility

i forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf to think i have no strength to help myself to be my own help

i forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf to hide and run in the identity of helplesness

i forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf to think adults should help me because they are big and i am small and helpless

i forgive myself to play helpless so i didnt have to face i never took responsability

i forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf to hide beihing apparent helplessness so i never would have to take responsability

i forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf to refuse to take responsability for what i have accepted and allowed and hide in helplessness as the deception of the mind

i forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf to think it is my nature - who i am - to be helpless

i forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf to be one and equall to helplessness

if orgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf to think helplessness exists

i forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf to believe helplesness exists

i forgive msyelf that I have never allowed msyelf to realise helplessness only exists as an illusion of the mind

i forgive msyelf that I have not allowed msyelf to live msyelf as self-help as self-strenght and self-responsability as who i am

i forgive msyelf that I have allowed myself to be frustrated because there was no help comming

i forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf to be angry with msyelf because even in the most deep shit i didnt want to face i have to help msyelf and no one was comming

i forgive msyelf that I ahve allowed msyelf to belive and think help exists somewhere out there

i forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf to believe help exists seperate from who i am here

i forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf to seperate myself from help

i forgive msyelf that I ahve allowed msyelf to make msyelf believe it is impossible for me to stand as my own help - and walk

i forgive msyelf that I have allowed msyelf to wait for someone to please help me not realising i was waiting for msyelf

i forgive myself that I have allowed msyelf to be scared to help myself, because i was scared to realize who i am

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