Thursday, December 30, 2010

Wrong answer!

So a couple of weeks ago I was attending the last class this semester for the course 'European law' which is quite an interesting subject and I am glad that I am able to once a week attend this particular class - because I can manage to get there on tuesday evenings right after work.

The point of my clothing would play out here as well - since i would enter the room and in my perception draw some attention due to how I was clothed (suit and tie), which I wondered if they might believe that I am wearing this to please the professor - while for me this was more a point of differentiating msyelf from the students and demonstrate that I am working and generating a stable income and thus that i am superior to everyone in the room - even to the professor because I manage to attend his class after a whole journey of work.

So - quite a fuck up right there.

That in itself was also enrgetically connected, because there was a girl always at the front rows as well whom I would be looking out for because I spoke to her once and because on some occasions I had imagined that she fancied me due to my clothes and my shaved head etc... I was obviously aware of this point, though i had not written this out effectively, which caused me to cycle within this experience.

thus I write specifically from the startingpoint of clearing myself from energetic possessions by calling a spade a spade; and stopping the enslavement towards the energy.

I had a significant reaction the last lesson I attended: the professor was giving examples of questions that had been used in last years exam and everyone was busy taking notes. He would ask the audience what the answer was to this or that particular question and ask fot a raise of hands, as these were simple yes/no questions. At one point he asked a question and I ostensively nodded with my head to make sure everyone would see that I thought the answer to this question was 'yes' - while he then revealed the actual answer was no - lol. I had an actual shame/embarrasment reaction towards this, which is quite interesting because i had not been in such a situation since my time at university 3 years ago.

This is interesting in itself since i am currently busy with an SRA assignment where we are taking apart a mind construct that heavily revolves around 'being seen as intelligent'/'having the right answer' and 'fear of giving the wrong answer'.

I am still in the process of taking that apart - so what I can say thus far: in this context my reaction was actual fear of being seen as stupid - which immediately revealed the extend to which I was acting out of ego. So - when the fear kicked in I supported myself with breathing untill it dissipated, but obviously I was now experiencing the outflows of my actions based in superiority - which now balanced out in inferiority.

So - another example of how one can be enslaved by a polarity system of the mind and remain trapped within it - unless one lay out the whole pattern that is playing out and correct oneself in practical living.

After having done some writing yesterday - I went for a long walk in the evening which I enjoyed extensively as I noticed I was having no energetic reactions whatsoever to woman or girls that crossed my path, as I walked and remained within breath - as if there had been ties cut loose which was quite a freeing experience - so that was cool immediate feedback on the effectiveness of my writing of that day.

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