Wednesday, February 23, 2011

The Informant (Movie review)

Yesterday evening I finished watching the movie ‘the informant’ and I found the ending quite interesting. Basically the story is about a person working in a high level position in a company that starts to ‘tell stories’ to extort his environment/colleges, which brings him into contact with the FBI and makes him secretly work for the government as an informant. What is not clear in the beginning is that this person is actually having a pathological ‘lying problem’ – he basically lies to everyone all the time to get what he wants. So – what is fascinating is that by the end of the movie his life is completely destroyed because no one will be willing to ‘be on his side’ anymore – as they found he cannot be trusted because every time there is information he is deliberately not revealing or hiding which makes it impossible for any party to take on his ‘defense’.

So, at one point near the end of the movie you have one of the FBI agents with who he had been working closely for about 2,5 years in exposing corporate secrets – who came to his house and for the last time listens to one of his stories and says: ‘you really need to stop lying.’ What is interesting in the movie is that in that particular scene you as an audience can ‘hear the thoughts’ of the main character. So, what reveals is that when someone says something to him or asks him a question – he will speak to himself in his head first – which sounds like an automatic voice he has no control over – and then he wil word for word repeat that chatter of his mind out loud in the conversation. The interesting point is he does not seem to identify the ‘problem’ of listening to his thoughts as the actual reason for his lying – and still seems to hope he will ‘get through’ and ‘win’ in the end of the day, which is shown by the fact that he will immediately without question repeat the words spoken in his mind that sound like a broken record.

So – this is an interesting perspective on how the enslavement to the mind works – where the ‘problem’ is clearly identified yet simply ends with the ‘tragedy’ of the person being ‘unable to stop’ while no solution is given… The fascinating implication is that the character is portrayed as being ‘pathological’ because of the way he listens to his mind, yet what is not realized or what is taken for granted is how actually everyone who participates in their mind through any act of thinking – is actually ‘doing the same thing’ eg lying to themselves. So, this is an interesting point to study and ‘slow down’ within oneself: through being aware of one’s breath and focusing on one’s physical presence rather than on a point in the mind, one can notice how thoughts will actually pop up automatically in one’s head. So, this should make it very clear that ‘thoughts’ are indeed a form of self-allowed mind control – if one believe one’s thoughts as ‘real’ and ‘valid’.

Is it not strange that we will ‘listen to’ and ‘believe’ a separate voice in our head that speaks automatically. Is that not mentally unstable to say the least? Many will argue here "but it is not a ‘separate voice’ it is actually ‘me speaking’ in my head." Though if that were so – then one should be able to stop thinking by will in any given moment. And if you cannot ‘stop’ then you know you have a problem.

What the movie also clearly shows is that in the moment of listening to his thoughts, ‘Mark’ the main character, is not trusting himself in common sense and what would now be practical for him to consider, but trusting the voice in his head instead, regardless of the consequences. So, from that perspective this is also exposing the point humanity is facing regarding self-trust – because a strongly held believe is that ‘without thoughts one is unable to make reality-based considerations’ – yet that is not true – because one is able to directly ‘see’ what is ‘here’ as this physical reality without having thoughts about it and act based on that direct seeing. This has nothing to do with a spiritual guidance or higher understanding but simply the practical common sense that exist within every being. A baby is able to interact with his environment without having thoughts about it; Animals interact with their environment without having any thoughts about it. Awareness is not equal to thinking. Is everything in reverse?

So, check out the forum at Desteni where many examples are given on how to stop these patterns through self-forgiveness and writing in self-honesty... as I and many others have found that to be the only effective way to expose and stop the secret mind and learn what is means to see direct and actually express yourself.

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Equality considerations

So, at the moment you have laws that make sure that when someone has gone through the great effort of accumulating a share of what is here for their own benefit to the point that they are placing others in a position of disadvantage and poverty – that what they accumulated at the expense of others remains ‘protected’ and that the effort that is put into that accumulation is ‘conserved’. It’s interesting how the wealthy of this world are by many regarded as icons of ‘success’ and of ‘victory in life’, while what they’re actually doing is depraving others from equal access to the resources they require to support themselves effectively in this world. How can stealing from others what they have an equal right to ever be a ‘success’ or a point of ‘victory’? Why do we call a rapist a criminal while someone who causes thousands to suffer is revered as an example of success and excellence?

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

After Exams

Yesterday I had my last exam – so I would like to write about my experience within studying thus far.

Obviously with my full time job I have to study after work – though the last three days I’ve been rearranging my pattern to be able to do more: I would sleep after work, wake up at around 00:00 and then study the whole night until I have to go to work – this allowed me get through the amount of pages I had set out to do within those three days – with the result that I was ‘finished’ in the morning at 08:00 while my exam was only at 11:30.

So that gave me a perspective on what I am actually able to do – where previously I had not been able to do this much within such a short period of time.
I must say I did experience tiredness at work at some stages (and almost fell asleep at my desk) – though this is cool to test how far I can push these points (and also i didn't have a choice really).

I looked if I can make this a routine throughout the whole year, or simply a more regular routine – because then I would be able to study A LOT. What I had done previously a couple of times is sleep 3-4 hours in the evening and then try and sleep one more hour or so before going to work – though that never worked as planned and the result was I would be a wreck the next day at work. So – it’s important to have a consistent sleeping pattern – because I clearly noticed the difference with how I arranged my sleeping pattern these last days: I enjoyed to be able to have so much ‘time’ that is suddenly available when waking up at 00:00 – which is almost like a whole ‘day’ (in terms of working hours – because at a job one typically work 8 hours a day) that I can spend ‘before my day even started’ so to speak; and this allows me to be ‘clear and fresh for study’ because law books require more focus than my job in a way, and also it’s easier to push through tiredness at work where there is more physical movement and interaction – than sitting on a chair reading a book, where the tendency is to fall asleep when it gets late – so that was another reason why I could see it would be better to ‘reverse’ my day.

However I’m not gonna overstretch this application right now – because it was exhausting after a few days and obviously there are some impracticalities within ‘living at night’ as well. So – now obviously I will rest – though I can see how this pattern can be useful again in the future. So – I can for instance plan myself a week like this where I decide I want to ‘move faster’ within studies, and then check if my physical body can handle it.

Right after the exam I spoke to a person to decide how I will arrange the next semester – so now I have that sorted out as well.

So – overall I found this quite challenging because of the extent to which I pushed myself – and I was really glad when the professor confirmed immediately that I had passed the exam.