Monday, August 19, 2013

When I learned that Bernard Poolman died...

When I read that Bernard had died – I was for a moment in a state of shock, experiencing a very daunting fear of not being in control. Then, as the message sunk in,  I looked at the implications of this event for me and for the group, and within this I realized that, as such, it did not change anything, except that it was now really up to us - as if it had ever been any different.

In a way I was prepared for this, because Bernard had told me that one day he will no longer be here, “because he is too much.” (as in “too intense”) When he told me this 4 years ago in front of the fire place, I cried.

Yet, what probably made me more prepared than this was the fact that I could see within myself that I am ready to stand and that for this I don’t “need Bernard”.

I have all the tools to walk this process, I know that the decisions that I had already made in the past years still stand and that I must keep walking my point. “You must continue, even after I am gone.”

Interestingly, I am continuing – not “because of Bernard” – but because I see that there is really no other choice. It is what must be done.

And so I commit myself to walk this process together with the people of the group of Desteni until my last breath.

Bernard’s death showed us that we are still accepting way too many limitations and justifications, as to why we cannot be who we would like to be and why we cannot be more effective, more directive, more self-disciplined, start walking points in more detail.

Bernard walked his process ‘alone’ and went all the way.

This is now our task.

Let’s stand and walk together, and not accept anything less from ourselves than what is best for all Life.

Gabriël  

3 comments:

Leila Zamora Moreno said...

Thanks for sharing Gabriel

marjamars said...

Thank you Gabriel!

bella said...

Thank you Gabriel!